By Dr. Yanina Gomez, mom of a teen & tween
“I want to dedicate more time to my family but I also want to grow professionally. It’s complicated! Between keeping up with the busy schedule at work, running my kids to school and all their extracurricular activities, I just don’t have enough hours in a day to do this.”
Does this sound familiar?
Let’s start by clarifying what I DON’T mean when I refer to a healthy balance.
To find balance between your family and work, consider these 4 suggestions:
1. DEFINE WHAT’S IMPORTANT TO YOU.
Before you conclude that this suggestion is self-centered, please hear me out. Most of us have tons of responsibilities and, at times, it feels that there’s not enough hours in a day to accomplish everything we need to do. But, if you take some time to outline what you do each day and how much time you allot to each thing you do, you’ll realized that often times, we spend time on things that aren’t important hence not making a difference in our life or in those around us. Maybe checking your social media account is taking too much time or watching that tv show featuring the hot English guy is really enticing you to the point of losing sense of time.
Once you identify what is important to you (e.g., strengthening my relationship with a significant other or teen, bringing food to the table, moving up in my career, etc.), then your actions and decisions should focus on accomplishing your goals. You begin to consciously choose to invest your time, effort and energy on accomplishing what is important to you so you may also allow time for others.
2. BE GRACIOUS WITH YOURSELF
“Whaaaat? I just told you that there’s not enough hours in the day!”
“What good will it do to have a sick and miserable you around?”
Not much! So, before you reach the miserable level, schedule some time for relaxation. I’m not talking about going out every night or going to the spa every day. I’m talking about no reading emails, no answering texts or social media messages for a moment. I challenge you to do the unthinkable… Press the off button more often!
You see, when we aren’t in a healthy place, we lose our patience, get irritated quickly and become less tolerable. And, guess who ends up paying for it? Yes, our kids. Our kids know when our state of mind is healthy or when it’s not in the right place. They can sense it. Mom, don’t let life get on your way to recharging your Self. Your child needs a healthy and dependable you!
Do you need some ideas? Claim your eGift “Joyful Moments for the Busy Mom” below. It’s my gift to you!
3. BE SELECTIVE
Let me start by saying this… It’s OK to say no! Whoever told you in the past that saying no is rude and unthinkable, don’t believe it! If you’re spending time doing things here and there keeping yourself busy, yet you’re neglecting yourself, loved ones and not living fully, that’s not balance.
Balancing your family and work isn’t easy. Again, it’s not about a 50/50 cut where 50% goes to investing in your life and family and 50% to accomplishing your professional goals. It’s about finding inner peace with how you’re handling and investing your life, embracing that each season in life has its own focus, and what’s imperative today might not be as important a few months from now. If you’re not focusing on what is important right now, balance is a wishful thinking.
As you begin to see time as an asset you will guard it wisely. This means that, you will not be saying yes to each invitation others present to you. You have to be selective! Measure the investment and benefits of each invite. Will this commitment make me grow personally and/or professionally? Will it make a difference in other people’s lives? What impact will this proposition make in my family or personal relations? Is it worth it?
As you become selective, you’ll begin to differentiate between what’s important and what can wait.
4. REFINE “BALANCE” BASED ON YOUR CURRENT SEASON
? There’s no need to feel guilty when your time, energy and effort have to be focused on a specific goal for a season. Be clear that this is a temporary “imbalance” and you are conscious and proactive about not neglecting the people and things that really matter to you.
Which of these tips is your strength? Share below!